Reintergration as it's called in the military is a tough chore. Oh sure we are happy he's home! But, just like the stages of grief there are stages in this journey as well. We have to get to know each other all over again. And it doesn't help when you have three hormonal women in the house! Poor Tim!
We are planning some fun travels during the next 30 days -- Paris, Italy, visit friends in Holland,places around here, Amusement parks-- so hopefully that will work out. Then we have a couple months of "normalcy" and then we will move back to the States. I really want to get some scrapbooking/ crafts and school done as well.
Life is never dull! There are many times I wonder why we can't just have a more placid existence but the L-d know better than I and I am learning to trust Him. He has been showing me in a very tangible way that this world is not my home!
May each of us see His hand in our lives today.
Sorry it has been so long. We have been busy with a myriad of things as well as trying to get used to the fact that Daddy's home!
This morning I was reading the notes on the Democratic convention and I also received a email "letter" that is circulating about President Bush at church.
One of the things I have always appreciated about our president is that while you may not agree with his convictions at least you always know where he stands; and that he stands by them. With Mr. Kerry I have to wonder. He seems to waffle an awful lot - voting for the war and then voting against funding, saying the suv is not his but the family's, earning medals in war and then thowing them away?
When I was in high school I was not popular. Of course at the time I really wanted to be but my parents had taught me that it was more important to stand up for what you believe, be yourself, and do what was right than it was to be accepted. High School was hell for me. BUT I learned some important things.......
Like most of the popular girls (read :those considered pretty, fast, etc) never really got on with their lives after school - many are still in or around our small home town. Not because they necessarily want to be (I can't wait to get out of Tombstone!) but because they can't seem to move on, to explore the rest of the world.
I still get in trouble, feel unacceptable/like I don't fit in, much of the time. But popularity is highly overrated. My friend was laughing yesterday as we were talking, "Some of the things you say......." I was a bit hurt as well as confused.......But what I said was true!?. I know that I am often to quick to defend myself (again a product of high school) and I am working on that.
All of this is to say that being popular and making everyone like you is not the way to lead a country, family or group. It takes gumption, conviction and a willingness to do what's right and not necessarily what's popular.
I hope the American public will see that in the coming election and not let the loud voices of a few mask the truth. I worry about this country we love and serve.
I will try to post more later!
One has to wonder too about our senior leadership. Webster's 1828 dictionary defines leading as the following:
- LE'ADING, ppr.
1. Guiding; conducting; preceding; drawing; alluring; passing life.
2. a. Chief; principal; capital; most influential; as a leading motive; a leading man in a party.
3. showing the way by going first.
He left his mother a countess by patent, which was a new leading example.
LE'ADING, n. Guidance; the act of conducting; direction.
Rather than showing the way or passing life,those who are in charge here seem more interested in their own needs then the needs of their troops and their families! We would all like to have the opportunity to spend time with our loved ones and get to new duty stations. There has been no obvious concerted effort by our command to expedite the home comings.
Maybe I'm just grousing a bit but I am not the only wife in our BN who feels this way. We are all beginning to wonder........... How much longer? How hard can it be? Why can't the command step up to bat for us?
The article isn't to bad, and to give credit where it is due they do mention the inconsitencies about the "facts" of this movie, but Mr. Moore's sense of entitlement is! He seems to think that the rest of us are stupid shmucks who just can't think for themselves without a little help from him! Still harping about Bush losing the election..........get over it already--you LOST! He tends to sound like the 4 yo olds out here on the playground--IT' NOT FAIR! Wah, wah, wah.
There is also some comparison made between his film and Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ.
The difference being that Mr. Gibson's film was made to honor his Lord and the suffering He went through during his final hours here on earth. Most of us "right wing, fundamentalist,Christians" can look past the things we disagree with in the film to the core of that effort.( By the way in the Time article Mr. Moore is quoted as saying"In this country 50% of the people go to church on a regular basis. And they went to that movie. My film has a much broader cross section of moviegoers--people from the general public." So now I am no longer part of the "General public?)
While Mr Moore's film(which I haven't seen and don't necessarily intend to) sets out to defame, degrade and dishonor our President. Apparently many of Hollywoods "elite" are enthralled with this film........big surprise.
He has also made many comments about our country to that effect (see some of CPT Patti's thoughts on this........as well as links. I havn't figured out how to make this work quite yet so here are some of them: http://www.lileks.com/bleats/archive/04/0704/070804.html
& one about his thoughts on America...... http://www.startribune.com/stories/1519/4851336.html)
If you choose to see the film take it with a grain of salt and do some research first, I for one refuse to be spoon fed by either party.
Hopefully mine will be here soon!
I was hopping yesterday. Gettin the house ship shape so that I don't have to "clean" for a few days after Tim shows up. Now it may be later again............ Make up your mind already! I hate getting information 3rd and 4th person!
Sorry bout the posts...haven't had much time the last couple days to peruse anything.
He's fine just been very busy trying to get all the vehicles done so they can get home. Maybe this weekend??? Subject to change of course.
Today I spent the morning lying on the couch/bed while the kids were at Vacation Bible School. I had planned to clean and scrapbook but I was bushed. Maybe tomorrow........
It's a great book about Army life on the frontier..
Ok so the reason I'm telling you this is because I wanted to post the following quote:
"Now, ask yourself this. DO you love him as he is? If you do, that means you love everything he has ever known, because that is what has made him as he is. Or do you love some other Matthew that you want to make him into? Is it really your husband you love, or only what you think your husband ought to be? If it is the latter, how do you know you are so right as all that, to take th epower of making someone into someone else?"----Jessica Prescott(CO's wife) speaking to Laura Hazard.
While of course these are fictional ladies in a fictional situation I thought it was a wonderful quote!
How often do we tend to love others for what we think they ought to be instead of simply for who they are? And is it really love when we do so?
I know that I tend to do this to my poor husband, especially when I am frustrated about something. To say"you should... why didn't you.......you always...." rather than just loving him for him. How selfish to think that I know better than he who he should be! Even as I want unconditional love for who I am. OUCH!
I hope that I can remember this as he returns!
Something to chew on.
So Anyhow, she was encouraging me that the L-d doesn't give these type of trials to just anyone but only those who He knows can "take it" and who is calling to a closer, deeper walk with HIm.
I knew that but it always helps to hear it from others. In my heart of hearts I long to KNOW G-d to trust Him in all things, but I really don't want to walk through all this! So I guess it's a conundrum -- in order to walk closely with Him and reap the joys we have to walk through life on His terms.
I have often related this to hiking the Grand Canyon (Yes I have. I met my husband there summer of 87 when we were both working there.) It's a breathtaking sight and adventure but when you are hiking you must be prepared first of all........Food, water, layers, moleskin for blisters, quick-kick(nasty stuff that replaces electrolytes...trust me you grow to like it!)a hat, sunscreen,flashlight, a pack and a map if you aren't on a main trail. Hundreds of people have to be rescued every year because they aren't prepared!
But when you are actually hiking it's a single file trail most of the way so even though you are probably with a group you are still on your own in one sense, hikers hiking up and mules going any direction have the right of way. SO you must be prepared to yield, sometimes in places it doesn't look like you can.
Also,you don't look up at the rim while you are hiking. Perhaps on rest breaks and every once in a while but not the whole time. You simply concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. The reason is that if you watch the rim it appears to be getting further and further away! That you will never get there.........It's enough to make you give up and take up residence in the Canyon!
And then the last part of the trail is the steepest..........Is this fair? On almost all the trails but especially on Bright Angel this is true. So many people start off at Bright Angel Trailhead thinkin...I'm just gonna hike a little ways and come back because then I can say I hiked the Canyon. Uh-huh. Then they turn around and have a 1 1/2 mile HIKE uphill.
When you reach the top though,how sweet it is. To breathe in pine scented, cool air, drink some cold water and look down on the Canyon!
So too I have ridden the mules to Plateau Point. There is that heart stopping moment when they descend over the edge of the rim and it feels as though you are going to tumble right over their head! Trust is essential......Most of the people on my ride couldn't' even walk by the end of the day because they wouldn't trust the mule and sit up and enjoy the view.
It strikes me that in many ways the Christian walk is very similar! How often do we fail to prepare? To keep putting one foot in front of the other because the goal appears to be getting further away and not closer? To trust the one we have chosen to ride with and then can't walk at all? To enjoy the view along the way? To yield the right of way to other hikers/help them up the incline?
How much easier would this life be if we just would give it to Him? To realize that this world is no more our home than the Canyon?
How sweet it will be when we have reached the "top" of whatever "canyon" we are in! Words will not be enough.
For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the L-d, Plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope. ---Jer 29:11 NASV
"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out-plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for."---Jer 29:11 The Message
So , Keep trekking and I'll see you on the trail!
I wish Tim was home to wrestle with them generally WEAR them OUT!
A good portion of 2/3 is already home or coming this week. We were told that the guys have finished thier vehicles and would get pushed up. NOW it looks like they will have to sit around doing NOTHING for another whole week to 10 days. Of course it's subject to change. Our BN CO wife says to try to assuage everyone's frayed,last nerves with the fact that Kuwait is safer than Iraq and it's only a few more days. Well thanks so much!
I already KNOW THAT! HOWEVER, that doesn't change the fact that they are sitting in Kuwait doing nothing. This is always the hardest part of the whole deployment anyways and it's even harder when you get to see everybody else's loved ones here. Not to mention the fact that her hubby's already HOME!
I am soooooooooo tired of all this. AND to top it all off Timothy hasn't called in two weeks! Sometimes I really wonder what the L-d is trying to do in our lives. He is always one of the last ones home -- the joys of being a mechanic and a good soldier -- just once it would be nice to get a break! I don't want to be the strong one anymore.
WE DID OUR DUTY"
MG Dempsey's remarks from the Casing of the Colors ceremony on the 4th of July.
LTG Metz, CSM Gainey, Iron Soldiers, Family Members linked to us by VTC from Germany.
Fifteen months ago, the group of Soldiers before you — Soldiers of the First Armored Division and Dragoons of the Second Armored Cavalry Regiment — formed a task force and set out to make the world safer for their fellow Americans and provide an opportunity for the Iraqi people to be free. They did.
Three months ago, this same group of Soldiers was asked to remain in Iraq to defeat a militia uprising and to preserve the path toward Iraqi sovereignty. They did that too.
Ladies and gentlemen, these are Iron Soldiers, and I’m proud to be their commander.
Now we’re going home.
I hope you are all as proud of what you have accomplished as i am of you.
The colors we just cased are part of what defines us. In an Army of hundreds of thousands, they are uniquely ours.
For generations, they have been carried into battle by men and women like you against the enemies of freedom. If those previous generations of Iron Soldiers were with us today, they would say to you “well done. You have made us proud.”
Sometime soon, we will add another battle streamer to those colors. That simple strip of silk will represent many things.
It will represent more than a year of your lives.
It will represent your 135 fellow soldiers who gave their lives for this mission and who made the journey home ahead of us.
It will represent your great courage in battle.
It will represent your remarkable stamina over the past 15 months.
It will represent your unshakable honor, tested in the most complex environment imaginable.
It will represent your immeasurable sacrifice and the sacrifice of your families.
Forever more, it will represent you.
From this point on in your careers, and long into your retirements, you should never look upon these colors the same again. These are truly your colors now. You have earned the right to stand tall behind them.
Today we also celebrate our Independence Day. It seems fitting that we end our mission on this great American holiday that celebrates our freedom.
We have learned a lot about the price of freedom.
We have learned that people experiencing freedom for the first time may not understand how fragile it can be and how much sacrifice may be required to earn it and preserve it.
I am confident that our actions have shown the Iraqi people how much we value our freedom. It is a shining example that cannot be ignored.
And we have learned that even people who have lived in freedom may not fully comprehend the profound care it requires. It was, after all, Thomas Jefferson who said “the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time by the blood of patriots and tyrants.”
You will never feel the same about Independence Day again. At least I hope you don’t.
We know what we’ve accomplished here in Iraq. First in Baghdad and then in the southern provinces.
But, if you’ve forgotten, I will summarize it for you: We did our duty. Nothing more and certainly nothing less.
As the history of this military campaign is written, it will be said of task force First Armored Division: they did their best for their country, for their unit, for each other, and for the people of Iraq. That is our legacy.
Well done, Iron Soldiers—thank you for your service to our nation.
May God continue to protect us as we begin our journey to rejoin our families in Germany and at Fort Polk.
And may God bless America.
HOOAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!! They are REALLY on their way......
But it was my friends first meeting as leader so.....I was the FRG leader for this past year and I am quite happy to be DONE! I care about the ladies and thier needs, or I wouldn't have accepted, but I am TIRED!! It takes a lot of time and energy to deal with ladies and their issues when the guys ar in Garrison much less deployed! I spent over 300 hrs this past year taking care of business for the Battery (and that's just the hours I counted) which takes a lot away from my family.
So anyhow......in the middle of the meeting I get a call from my daughter because one of our windows broke! Thank goodness nobody was hurt! Right before the meeting I had called Victoria's Secret to check on my order and they tell me it may not be until the 20th. Tim will probably be home before that!!!!!!!!!!! I know I can wear a burlap sack and he'd be happy just to see me but I wanted something cute and kinda sexy. I ordered some jeans from Shepler's western wear last night so I guess which ever gets here first is what I will wear. Jeans, boots and nice shirt or a dress and stockings with a back seam.
Normall these would all be annoying but that's it. However, coming at the end of a deployment it's just one more thing I have to deal with and it's getting close to being the last straw! I am so tired. Tired of being a single parent, of dealing with all the little things that come up, of feeling abandoned even though I know I'm not, etc, etc, etc, etc.......
Hopefully today will be better.
I am so tired of doing all this on my own.
Went to see the fireworks the other night and they were good-short but good. At least it stopped raining long enough for us to see them and not get soaked.
I need to take the car in to get the oil changed today but I'm not sure it's gonna happen. I'm tired and need to clean house, have a hair appointment this afternoon and I want to scrapbook. The kiddos are all wanting to go to Vaction Bible School next week so I many have to wait until then.
Haven't heard anything from Timothy in the last week or so. They are all supposed to be in Kuwait though. Hoping my new dress, etc gets here before him! I would like to wear it to the welcome ceremony.
I will try to post more this evening!
This morning the children and I reread the Decleration of Independance and discussed it. I wanted to make sure that they understand it so that they have a firm grasp of what our founding fathers intended. So many in this day and age do not. So many of thos of us who call ourselves Americans have no idea what it means to be enslaved -politically or otherwise- and so we take our freedoms for granted. Those of us in the miltary often have a first hand view of what it means to not be free and yet even many in our troops have lost sight of the prize we all hold.
Many times over the last year it has come up in discussions around here and with my family that if the Iraqi people would have just stood up for themselves to begin with we wouldn't be in this mess. However, can a people who have never known anything but tyranny really just do that?? We need to remember that our forefathers came to this country to escape just that, they were not of the stock that had always lived underneath such without complaint. Many of them were part of the penal systym and were not necessarily what we would consider good upstanding citizens today.
How easy it is to look back upon 218 years of Freedom and question others who do not know it. Thank G-d that he gave our forfathers the vision and fortitude He did or we might not be so different today.
We are going to watch the Patiriot in a bit. A bloody, gory film to be certain but I am of the mind that often we need to reminded of the cost for our freedoms. A cost still being paid today.
Do not forget.
........Abraham Lincoln, 2nd Inaugural address
Almighty G-d, Who has given us this good land for our heritage; We humbly beseech Thee that we may always prove ourselves a people mindful of Thy favor and glad to do Thy will. Bless our land with honorable ministry, sound learning, and pure manners.
Save us from violence, discord, and confusion, from pride and arrogance, and from every evil way. Defend our liberties, and fashion into one united people the multitude brought hither out of many kindreds and tounges.
.............Thomas Jeffeerson, March 4 1805 A National Prayer for Peace
"A prince, whose charecter is thus marked by every act which may define a tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people."
......Thomas Jefferson, Decleration of Indpendance.
So I there may not be much on toady. Sorry bout that.
Blessings to you all.
We put flags and yellow ribbons on the trees around our green space, yellow ribbons on the trees lining the main entrance and made a big ribbon/heart cup art sculpture on our fence. The cup art also says "1 AD Home at Last". We have also been busy decortaing the inside of the stairwells.
I think it took people this long to decorate because we wanted to be sure that our guys/gals are really coming home this time! So far so good....
I would also like to venture that it is a lot like being pregnant. Stick with me here a second guys... I have told my husband many times that the L-d knew women had to be preggers for a full nine months because before that you aren't totally willing to go through labor but by the end... That last month is soooooooooo long! It seems like you will never have that baby. Everyone keeps inquiring after your health and due date, and as you get closer the looks and words of sympathy start. You haven't had that baby yet??? And while the pregnant mum appreciates the thought she also is just as likely to strangle you for asking again!! She of all people knows shes STILL pregnant and wants it done.
Those of us here in the 1st Armored divison feel like that right now. We can't wait and FINALLY some of our men are begining to surface around home again but it's not our turn yet. While I'm excited for everyone else and happy their loved ones are home safe it's also highly annoying cause Tim's not here. Family is starting to ask have you heard from Tim yet? And it's starting to feel like when I was pregnant....I'll let you know!!! While homecoming is a public event is also an intensely personal thing. I loved the picture in the Stars & Stripes of a CPT and his wife slow dancing with their eyes closed oblivious to everyone else in the gym!
Adjustments have to be made as well just like having a newborn......we've all changed and grown, things have happened while Daddy's been gone. Our family has to adjust all over again. This is not an easy thing!
But in the end it's all worth it just to have Him home again and safe.
There still seems to be this thought among the "social elite" that those of us in the military are only in because we can't do anything else. Too stupid, too naive, etc.....
Perhaps they would like to come and try to run schematics on my hubby's Bradleys?? When did patriotisim and love of country go out of style? Did I miss something?
As you can probably tell this article raised my hackles.......them's fightin words!! to put in a vernacular the writer might grasp. He goes on to say that "perhaps" things are better in the Regulars but this war is being mostly fought by Reservists and National Guardsmen. Oh really??? I thought we were all in the same Army and why then are most of the troops in Germany "Over there"??
I hope the writer still feels the same way if he ever should lose that freedom he takes for granted. Secured for him by the "troubled underbelly" of America.
391 days since Timothy left for Iraq.
(Less than the rest of his unit as he left 3 weeks later than everyone else because of my kidney surgery........but long enough thank you! Especially since this is our third year long tour. Korea twice before this(17mo for one).)
Orginally I had thought of calling this blog "Walking through Fire" -- in reference not only to what my life feels like of late but also to the verse in Isaiah 43:1-2
But now thus says the L-d your Creator, O Jacob, and He who formed you O Israel,"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you. For I am the L-d your G-d the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.".
I first heard this reference at a Baptist Student Union conference when in collage and had no idea how the L-d would bring it back to mind in my life. I find myself coming back to it over and over.
This lifestyle called "serving your country" is an extremly stressful one even during peace time and the last 15 years have never been dull that's for sure! However this last year or so has been a doozy! Thus the reference to the verse........
In the last year we have had two vans break down(no surprise here as any veteran military spouse can tell you that everything breaks down, falls apart, etc as soon as hubby leaves for any amount of time!), broken bones, stitches, hospital stays for my little ones asthma, two surgeries for me, deployment, traveling home and back by myself with 4 children, etc, etc, etc,etc!! It is has just been a very hard year keeping things together by myself. Nevertheless I know my times are in the L-ds hands.
So here we are today............oh I changed the name to Household Six because it encompases everything a little better but the theme is still basically the same. For those of you who may not know generally the commanders radio call sign is __________6 such as Cougar6 for Charlie battery, etc. The running joke in the Army is that Household6 is for the real boss at home--the wife!!! So it's just a little fun!for now too.
So today I am off to Hanau to grocery shop--what you need to know is that in Germany if you don't want to shop in the German store you have to shop at the commisary "on post" ours here in Giessen is smaller than Hanau and open less hours. My friend and I also want to go to their Arts and Crafts store (also bigger) for some scrapping supplies and a special something for her husband. I also am planning to shop for a homecoming outfit -- you know something cute and a little sexy but not sleezy!!
I haven't figured out how to link to other blogs yet but check out CPT Patti for some really good stuff! This is my neighbor's blog! http://www.gatorsix.blogspot.com