"The choices we make ....

 

dictate the lives we lead " ...... (Danny DeVito in Renaissance Man)

This has been a reoccurring theme in my life the last few weeks ...  and particularly this morning! Someone's choice impacted my life -- poor honey had to go to work in the wee hours of the morning (after multiple phone calls .. thank you for that!) because of someone elses choice to be irresponsible. 

So often we tend to think that our choices are ours alone, and to a certain extent they are and YET ..... everyone else around us is impacted too from the simple to the complex.... 

I'm sure the soldier who went out drinking last night to have fun never considered how his choice might impact others or possibly himself -- everyone in the Company having to come in early on a Saturday morning, lack of sleep for our family, extra paperwork for leadership, our Battalion "name" on the reader board on post,  not to mention the example he has set/ruined for those under his leadership, his own driving record and legal record and even his own job prospects in the future ....... (going out isn't the issue, the choice to drive afterwards is!)

Or the young man who lies for fear that others might not love/want him,  trying so hard to live up to a standard imposed by others that he feels he must be perfect ..... ends up becoming the very thing he tried so hard not to be ..... and now must bear the consequences of broken relationships, school issues, shame, etc ., even as he seeks to make things right ... knowing others may reject him anyways ....

What about Sarah? In Genesis she chose out of sheer desperation and longing for acceptance to have a baby through another woman .... I'm sure she had no idea the impact that choice would have  - unrest in the Middle East even today! 

Peter -- who lied with Jesus standing RIGHT THERE! ... and said "I do not know him..." even as the words left his mouth did he wish he could take them back? Once the fear of man and physical death subsided and He looked into the eyes of the one he had betrayed? ..... the magnitude of what he had done must have been soul crushing .... 

And Yet ..... God can redeem each of these situations if they are handed to Him! 

Sarah is listed in the Hall of Faith in Hebrews, which gives me hope! Peter was restored by Christ himself the exact number of times he lied ..... and became a pillar of faith! 

What about the daily choices we make? 

~To respond kindly instead of harshly to my husband when he irritates me or needs me to repeat myself! 

      ~Lovingly & firmly correct my child, instead of yelling out of frustration 

           ~To CHOOSE my words instead of just speaking without thinking, to be cognizant of what others may hear in what I say       

               ~To hold others accountable but with arms of love and faith around them instead of banishment, frustration or anger 

                 ~Choosing to beleive that God can and WILL bring good out of our brokenness, ...   

                     ~ Allowing my children to choose for themselves  what they will do and then loving them anyway, training them and myself that you really do reap what you sow (Gal 6:7-8).... 

                       ~ Continuing to pray and trust  even when all seems lost

The Bible says in Proverbs: 

  "There is a way that appears to be right,

   but in the end it leads to death."   

       Death of dreams ... relationships... hopes .... and sometimes even physical death.

But there is another way .... Jesus says he is that way and will help us to choose the right....

And no it isn't easy at all ... it's so much easier to respond when I am hurt with anger and pain rather than from a place of mercy ...

          a mercy which forgives and yet is wise holding firm to God's word, 

             mercy that is willing to walk through the consequences with you and love you anyways .... 

                      because isn't that what God does for us? ....

"Make us to choose the harderright instead of the easier wrong, and never to be content with ahalf truth when the whole can be won." .... Cadet's Prayer, USMA West Point 


 ...........because our choices do indeed dictate the lives we lead!

You might be a military wife at Christmas if .....

1. -- you have camouflage of any kind as part of your decorating scheme   or your use little Army men spray painted gold! (I think I  need these ornaments!)

2. -- you have moved lock stock and barrel during the Christmas season (usually to someplace you don't have the proper clothing for!)

3. -- you have spent Christmas in guest housing/billeting with a tiny tree from Walmart/Hobby Lobby/Michael's,etc and ornaments the kiddos made or you let them randomly choose!

4. -- you have a yellow ribbon or a camouflage heart somewhere on your tree to remind you of those who spend Christmas apart (even during peace time), and a lighted yellow ribbon on the lawn

5. -- you decorate in a red white and blue or patriotic theme 

6. -- you know what a ChristKindl markt, gluwein, marzipan, Dec 6th, Weinacths Chocolate, and Kinder Eggs are OR have any other "foreign" celebrations as part of the your holiday traditions  ....

7. ... celebrating with your military family instead of blood relations is ok with you, cause they're just as close anyway!

8.....know what it means to sacrifice your holiday wishes so others can have theirs even if they don't know it.

9.... have sent a picture to hubby downrange of you in christmas lingere/just his "blouse" or a bow and a Santa hat  in front of the tree....

10 ... have ever sent a christmas tree and ornaments to a foreign country  just so the "boys" can have a little touch of Christmas in their tent/room/chu/palace/barracks...

11... have sent chistmas cards addressed to any soldier because you hope someone is for yours and you can't stand the thought of someone not getting anything for Christmas!

12 .... own the book " The Soldiers Night before Christmas" (or other branch versions if they exist)

13.... your children know that Christmas really isn't about stuff but about being together (even if it IS in guest housing or Christmas Dinner is at Cracker Barrel) but of course still ask for stuff! ;)

14 .... you hang up his stocking anyway and have a framed photo surrounded by greenary

15 ... you carry your cell phone everywhere Christmas Eve/Day hoping he'll call....

16 .... you don't live in the States but Christmas overseas has it's own kind of magic!

17 ... you've ever sung Silent Night in German around a lit tree outside with both German and American friends (or other languages and places you might be)

18 ... know that it's ok if you can't get "home" for Christmas because HOME is where the Lord sends you anyhow!

19 .... your Christmas card list includes addresses literally all over the world!

20 ... you've ever made your kids get up on the roof to hang lights cause Daddy's not home and you have to stay on the ground to supervise (Fort Irwin in the wind is fun!)

21 .. you know how to hang lights, fix broken toys, defrost locks and change flats, scrape the windshield daily and can change shoveling snow into a fun race but you'd rather hubby was home to do it......because each thing reminds you he's not home ....

22 ... you've discussed what Christmas is like (weather, traditions, was Jesus born at Christmas,etc)  in the Middle East or wherever  Dad is this year and counted it as a homeschool lesson!

23... you've "moved" Christmas because  the day is not as important as what day he's coming home!

24... you consider The service songs to be Christmas Carols too!  (and you may not know the words to everybody elses but you know yours and so do your children!! The Cassions go rolling along....)

25 ... you are part of a unique sisterhood who understand what it's like to do any or all of the above and then some!



I'm sure I could go on or come up with more but I hope you liked my list so far ...be sure to check out other's lists/ideas/posts at Wives of Faith  ... today's the last day for the blog carnival! Personally I'd love continue but tis not to be! Merry Christmas to all my "sister's in arms" wherever you may be!

Jingle Jingle Jingle ca ching....

that's the sound of Christmas Joy ...... so goes the line on one of the Veggie Tale Christmas songs....(one of our cd's we listen to every year! :) )

It's all to easy to get caught up in who needs what present, which store, etc this time of year! Even for Christians ... now there's absolutely nothing wrong with gift giving I'm not saying there is but sometimes we need to refocus...

yesterday (yes I'm behind) the topic on the  Wives of Faith Blog Carnival was "your favorite non material Christmas Gift ....
 

      Babies, hubby's home from deployment, and perspective are all gifts mentioned -- check out what the other ladies had to say!

For me I remember one Christmas Eve at Candlelight Service some of the guys came walking in from a Yakima Rotation (Ft Lewis anyone?) it was so fun to watch the joyous surprised reactions of the ladies and then worship together!  My honey wasn't one of them, he came home later that night but it was still truly a joy to see that and on such a special night and place!

Another memory would be sitting on the tarmac waiting for the plane to be deiced whilst traveling home while hubby was in Iraq the first time and our youngest who was three at the time softly singing "the Cassions go rolling around "....  :)

Finding Joy in the midst of lifes struggles, something the military has taught me is truly a choice, I guess that's the gift....

A Holy light .....

I've always had a thing for lights ....
        basking in the summer sun, twinkling Christmas lights (I love turning off all the lights except the tree), driving around to look at Christmas lights,the friendly crackling glow of a campfire at night, the way the light in the desert can be blinding and wonderful all at once, candlelight shining softly, the glimmering dance of light on water, the shimmer of golden aspens or red maples when the light hits just right, snow glinting frostily in the sun, sunset when the sky is set aflame, starry nights when you can see the entire milky way (yes it is possible depending on where you live) .... {grey wintry days really do a number on my energy level,mood,etc if it lasts more than a day or so (living at Fort Lewis,WA was wonderful but I would buy a light box if we went back)}...

Today at Wives of Faith the blog carnival topic is "a favorite childhood Christmas memory" .... do you know how hard that is?! I mean really.... but  in thinking back one of my favorite memories is Midnight Mass at Tumacacori Mission in Arizona ....(here's a picture of the mission on a typical wintry day)

no I'm not Catholic but this is one of the things we did when I was growing up .... there was just something about the cold night air, the history of the mission (it was established in 1691), quiet greetings from friends and neighbors,  and waiting for all the bells to ring at midnight -- but what really did for me was the lights.....

     Luminarias to be exact -- such a simple thing, a brown paper sack with some sand and a candle inside, a common Christmas decoration in the Southwest (we usually put out several along our driveway or porch when I was growing up and my parents still do, Northern AZ University puts out over a million every Christmas all over campus ). It's amazing how something so simple can be transformed into something so beautiful ...

 (national parks traveler)

Yet isn't that how Christ is with us, even as we remember His birth and the purpose behind it at Christmas? That when we allow Him to come in and remake our lives, forgive our sins He can take the common, ordinary, dirty things of our life, the little we have to offer and make them into something beautiful ? .......

The soft, flickering, golden glow from the candles both inside and out of the mission was comforting against the shadows of the night , yet beautifully ethereal ... luminarias just mean home and Christmas to me now, the quiet of remembering what Christmas is really all about.

(We don't tend to do them here in KS as it's usually way to windy and the fake ones just don't look the same and I miss them, the simplicity and beauty!).

What memories make it Christmas for you?

Holiday yumminess....

so the topic today at  Wives of Faith  is your favorite Christmas dessert .... there's just soooo many to choose from!! :) Marzipan, Chocolate, Ginger cookies, the list continues.....

My favorite Christmas time treat is Weinachts chocolate (spiced chocolate that's soooo good) -- I think a trip  to World Market is in order, since I can't get to Germany this year, I do miss Christmas in Europe--- but I digress...

We are supposed to say our favorite dessert and add a recipe ... so here's one we make every year and only at Christmas....

These are some of our favorite cookies to make and to give ... we get raves every year. They are somewhat time consuming but worth it, buttery, crisp and delish! As we are off to Colorado this Christmas we will have to make some either beforehand or after -- we always give out plates of cookies to the neighbors Christmas Eve/time so this year it'll be for a Happy New Year!     (tons of work but fun and a great memory -- normally around 2 dozen plates of variety cookies, you do the math...)

The first Christmas we were married (and together, long story ) I found a recipe for these in a Pillsbury cook book, my German neighbor gave me her recipe instead and it's gone from there - I never use the other one anymore, these are so much better! ... I remember being in her kitchen and learning to make these along with coffee, conversation and marzipan! (Books and recipes I've seen call them Linzer cookies, Sabrina called them Helga Platz)

Linzer Stars/Helga Platz

• 250grams (1 C + 2Tb)  Butter  (NO substitutions!)

• 250g  Sugar (1C+2Tb)

• 2 eggs (preferably organic, pastured)

• 1 Package Vanilla Sugar ( you can get this at the commissary or specialty shops, you can make your own but I've never had it come out quite the same)

• 500g (31/2-4C) flour 

• Red Currant Jelly (if you can't find it Raspberry will work ... Schwartau brand is the BEST!) 

Cream together all but flour & jelly until light and fluffy, pale in color. Add in flour 1 cup at a time mixing well after each addition. Divide dough into small portions,wrap in saran wrap and place in freezer or fridge to chill well (you want the dough pretty much solid). Preheat oven to 375, roll out thin on a lightly floured surface working quickly (The dough will be really hard to roll at first but once it warms up to much it will stick to the rolling pin, return to fridge at this point and get another lump! You can also use a combo of flour/vanilla sugar for your rolling surface) -- you want these as thin as you can get and still get them off the counter! Cut out centers of 1/2 of the cookies with a canape cutter, bake until slightly golden. You want them just barely done or they will be to hard -- don't worry it takes practice, be prepared to burn a few, have some underdone, have a few break! Cool slightly. Place 1/4-1/2 tsp of jelly in the center of the bottom cookie, place top over smushing slightly (again be careful they break easy), dust liberally with powdered sugar. These are even better after a day or so! 

These are our together time cookies as it is easier to work with someone once your oven is hot,etc ... I usually roll and cut out centers, dd's watch the oven, jelly and sugar! Conversation , Christmas Music and a messy kitchen abound ...

Enjoy -- Frohe Weinachten!

Favorite Christmas Movies ...(WOF Day 1)

Today's topic over at Wives of Faith is your favorite Christmas Movie....

Hmmm we watch several every year and it's not easy but I polled the fam and here's our must sees:

Ok so we don't actually own this one presently but we used to watch this every Christmas when I was a girl (loved the Waltons!) and I have missed it, hoping to order it from Amazon this payday! If you've never seen it it's the story of a depression era family and their struggles at Christmas and how love is the most important gift of all....

A lovely adaption of the Biblical story and a new family "classic"

One of my daughter's favorites and a true Classic with generosity, love and laughter! and an unforgettable score!

My Eldest Son's favorite .... a neat take on the commercialization of the holidays and what it means to live in community!

Another of my favorites ... great movie, funny and a message of hope and faith

The true classic which MUST be watched every year! Uplifting reminder of the difference we each make!

 If you love Anne of Green Gables then you must watch Road to Avonlea ... originally titled Happy Christmas Miss King this is a wonderful family film about faith, hope, love and family!

So this one isn't necessarily a "Christmas" Movie but it starts out at Christmas and we usually watch it and who doesn't love the March Girls  ... 

 and last but certainly not least, Eloise! A precocious little girl who lives at the Plaza who has a heart of gold .....you simply must watch it as it's rawther a good movie and dd#2's fav! ....  

So there you have it our family's must see Christmas movies every year, a bit eclectic I grant you  and we add other's but these are De rigour for the Christmas season ..... fix yourself some cocoa and popcorn and settle in!

It's the most wonderful time of the year....

and that includes blog world!  :)

The Ladies over at Wives of Faith are hosting their annual Blog Carnival as part of the festivities .. soo fun to see what everyone has to say about daily topics and find new bloggy friends as well!

The Carnival starts tomorrow so join me here won't you? (You can click on the photo in my sidebar to visit the site!) Can't wait to hear what everyone else has to say....(topics include favorite Christmas recipes, memories,etc...)

Sacrifice of Thanksgiving....

 Let them give thanks to the LORD
    for His faithful love
    and His wonderful works for the human race.  Let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving
    and announce His works with shouts of joy

For He has satisfied the thirsty
    and filled the hungry with good things. .... Psalm 107:7-9  (read the rest of it, long but worth it!.. here ) 

The phrase sacrifices of thanksgiving really jumped out at me today in my devotional time ...  this whole past year God has been talking to me about Thanksgiving and gratitude (Ann Voskamp's book and website for instance...), about CHOOSING to see, that it is indeed a choice to look for His daily blessings..... but a sacrifice? ...

I confess I have not had the best attitude of late towards hubby  or God -- I have been praying for years, YEARS people! -- about our family and our soldoutness to God (it's a word I made it up, whatever!), about hubby leading more , I was very disappointed with his reaction - or lack thereof - with the movie Courageous, angry with him and his deployment habits -- hey we've done 6 it's a habit! -- not that he goes, that's not a choice but his choices not to write or make extra effort to be involved. I feel hurt, abandoned and rejected. So there you go...

BUT -- I have not been choosing to be thankful anyway -- at least not where he's concerned! He really IS a great guy -- he does so much that other husbands don't. He doesn't question my involvement with PWOC, babysits without complaining (even other peoples kiddos), doesn't harass me about the budget, does laundry,etc .... yet I see the way it could be and I yearn for that .....

             Mark Gungor says that "when your expectations don't meet your experience you have an emotional meltdown" .... well honey Satan has been testing me on that and let me tell you it's been melting all over the place over here even if it is below freezing out....

I have allowed my expectations, dreams, disappointments and desires get in the way of my reality ....seeing the sacrifice yet?....... Then I found this verse:

Whoever sacrifices a thank offering honors Me,
    and whoever orders his conduct,
    I will show him the salvation of God. ....Psalm 50:23  

Soooo... IF I really want to see God move in my life I need to starting lifting a thank offering to Him ... in  Leviticus  the thank offering was heave offering something lifted up to God with open hands in a posture of praise .... OUCH I can't say I've been doing that with my marriage or husband of late.... Now I know I am NOT the only one who hasn't so please don't say I told you so but use this post to examine your own heart, I confess not for condemnation but for prayer and support ... not for platitudes or scripture quotes but in the hopes that my honesty can help someone else who feels trapped and like they have no one to talk to ......

By very definition sacrifice means it will cost you something .. don't believe me? feel free to look it up ....  it will cost me something to Thank God in the middle of things that don't make sense, of things that I've prayed about and heard wait again, or no ....... so to thank God in the very midst of pain doesn't negate the pain, do away with the emotions, the fact I feel unheard IS NOT SIN, but choosing to dwell on it and use it to hurt my husband is another story .... counseling IS NOT SIN ......tears, wrestling with God IS NOT SIN .....

 the sacrifice is in the choosing 

   ~ to love my husband in SPITE of the things that make me crazy, ..
     ~or the fact that he doesn't do the things I wish he would (like pray with me).....
       ~to thank God that my son doesn't do drugs, sleep around,etc EVEN if he is choosing badly in school....
         ~ to see the beauty in each day .... as Ann says "the ugly beautiful" ....asking Him to make the Ugly beautiful in spite of me .....
             ~ in the letting go of those things I hang on to for protection: pride, being right, hurt, despair, desires, dreams, expectations, anger, the things I long for  .... to be willing to pay the cost
                 ~ to breathe in the blessings of God and breathe out gratitude..........even, no ESPECIALLY when it hurts.....                             


“It is always possible to be thankful for what is given rather than resentful over what is withheld–one attitude or the other becomes a way of life.”... Elisabeth Elliott.

I want to do that ..... to lift up my life in Thanksgiving as a living sacrifice....

    even when I don't understand or see a "return" .....
to be free to praise in the midst of pain ......
 
To believe that I  WE will be satisfied, we will be filled and  we will see the salvation of God in the land of the living!

Black Friday

I don't know about you all but I try to avoid shopping on the Friday after Thanksgiving like the plague ... the fact we usually don't have much extra to spend aside I have no wish to be part of the stampede! I try to avoid scenes like this at all cost ...

What about you this year? ....... What if you could spend your money on something that really mattered without having to brave the crowds?  On someone or something that made a difference? That was really needed and not just a little (or large) luxury?

Well there is! 

I'm honored ..... to be a new Compassion blogger!! Helping talk about needy children all over the world.
As I said in my previous post we've sponsored two girls from Compassion for a few years and one little girl from World Vision which we had to stop. It's been amazing to think that just a few dollars a month from us is making a difference in others lives in other places and a difference for the Kingdom!

I got this assignment from Compassion today, but I have to tell you I find it ironic as well - you see in talking to one of our girls who's at college this morning she was debating about sponsoring  a little girl in India or one in Guyana as there was a Compassion rep at the school!

Here's the video we were asked to share, go watch it and come back (you may need tissues)..... Missions in Action - Philippines  ...

  Can you imagine living like that? I think I could deal with the water -- if it was clean -- but those houses...I grew up on the border with Mexico and often visited with our church group, and remember our church building a "house" for a family with 12 children; yet even those shacks of corrugated tin, adobe and cardboard were solid and somewhat warm.

The beautiful smiles and spirit of making the best of it all -- can I say I would do the same? I'm not sure.... not sure at all.

How often we complain as we sit in houses with central heating and air, plenty of food and solid walls! The ability to walk outside without worrying about disease or drowning, or what happens if your raft floats off?

No I don't think God calls all of us to move into that type of housing but I do think he expects us to help if we can. How spoiled we all are ..... maybe this year instead of hitting the "Black Friday" sales you could choose to make it a Beautiful Friday for a child who's been waiting for a sponsor instead?

(there's also a  Compassion Christmas Catalog where you can order things through Compassion that others need and give a card to whomever you sponsor it for!)

Living, Breathing, Grace .... {Day 30}

Reintergration is not always easy or fun. It's hard when people say you must be so excited hubby is home ... well yes and no ... issues you had before do not just magically disappear because they are gone for a year, they only get set aside. Not always easy to make room in the daily routines for Him .... he hasn't even been home that long but old disappointments that I don't see changing have already reared their ugly heads. ....

Pain is said to be the gift that no one wants .....

After a hard morning I was sitting in church and just said  " God I just want to see evidence of your Grace in MY life today "... and a still small voice replied..

 " Just look at the young man sitting next to you ......."  oh ... deep breath ... yes Lord, our daughter's beau who is visiting was next to me this morning. He is indeed a gift from God for her and for our family. A young man who follows hard after God, seeks God's best for our girl, honors her and adores her! He is already fast becoming part of our family ....

and then today there were baby dedications -- such sweet little things and none of them cried! (our eldest son screamed his head off) ... and I looked in front of me and down the row and there again was evidence of grace .... all of my children, the aforementioned beau and a college roomie worshiping together and what's more each in their own way seeking fervently after God and His ways.

It was a small breath of hope in my day .... and a reminder that even when I don't see God working He has not forgotten, forsaken or ignored me. To continue to beleive that God will work it out for our good ..... even when I wish He would do it NOW, to continue to trust ...

Nothing ....{Day25}

"I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without Me."

I was struck by this passage a few years ago and felt God saying "You can do NOTHING without me, stop trying so hard. You don't live and breathe without me so what makes you think you can do other things? Sure you can can walk your own way, do what you want but will it last in the end? Nothing you do without me is eternal. I've made you the way I have for my Glory not your own." 


It's all Grace. Only by His Grace can I hope to abide in Him, live, breathe and move in Him. Opening my eyes every morning and dreaming at night ---- it's His Grace.


The realization I can do nothing without Him can bring a sense of failure or why try if we listen to our flesh or Satan ... but ... if we listen to Christ it brings freedom to know He loves us and is moving in every bit, part, and breathe of our lives....
    That I don't have to accomplish anything other than obedience .. He will do the rest.  Without His word in my life, His very breathe in my day, I can do nothing .... but with it? I can do mighty things through Him.

Grace Calling ..... {day 12 & In God's Heart}

Ok so I'm a few days behind on my 31 days of Grace .... the last few days have been a bit crazy. Nevertheless here I am again ....

Have you ever considered your calling? Or even ever thought whether you are called to do something/anything with your life? What is it? .... What does it mean to be called?

            Webster's 1828 says this:

   Call:  1. To name; to denominate or give a name.

2. To convoke; to summon; to direct or order to meet; to assemble by order or public notice;

3. To request to meet or come.

4. To invite.

5. To invite or summon to come or be present; to invite, or collect.

6. To give notice to come by authority; to command to come; as, call a servant.

7. To proclaim; to name, or publish the name.

8. To appoint or designate, as for an office, duty or employment.

9. To invite; to warn; to exhort.

10. To invite or draw into union with Christ; to bring to know, believe and obey the gospel.

11. To own and acknowledge.

12. To invoke or appeal to.

13. To esteem or account.

           So many people these days seem to be wandering aimlessly about with no sense of purpose. The protestors on Wall Street right now are looking for a purpose, a call if you will .... something larger than themselves....   Yet I wonder if it is not often in the small things that our true calling is found, in the willingness to do them well even when there is no recognition, when it seems as though no one sees. A calling is more than a vocation or job .... some may have the gift of teaching and not be "called" to teach in school, it's not so much about what we DO but about who we ARE and more so who we ARE in Christ if we are believers..... Holley over at Heart to Heart with Holley has a great analogy ...   ~Even after we’ve accepted God’s offer to be a princess, we may forget our calling from time to time. Imagine if Mia moved out of the palace and lived on the streets. Her beautiful gowns would become dirty, she would have little to eat, and few would guess her real identity. Yet the fact that she was royalty wouldn’t change. ~Did you catch that? A princess living in a homeless shelter is STILL a princess by birth.....  Circumstances do not change who we are intrinsically. So often we live like it does though don't we?      
            When I was in college a passage of scripture was distinctly given to me, Isaiah 43: 1-21.....    Verse one says:

            Now this is what the LORD says—
    the One who created you, Jacob,
    and the One who formed you, Israel —
    "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by your name; you are Mine...

what a comfort in times of trial and uncertainty to know that God knows my name.  When we named our children we purposefully chose names that had meaning, didn't spell anything weird with their initials and sounded nice ..... {Sara Elizabeth: Princess Consecrated to God, Jessica Grace: Gods rich gift of  grace, Ross Alexander: From the peninsula (it's Scottish and sounds like a strong man's name so there!) and;Defender/leader of men  , Noah Cuyler: Rest/Comfort and Chapel/Shelter}, ...  How much more beautiful must our names sound in the mouth of God? Of one who loves us so ....

             But, how often do we balk or run from the things He is calling us to? to become?  why do we fear that the grace which so envelopes us will run out? That it won't be enough if this calling is hard, or makes me give up parts of myself -- even if I get them back polished and beautiful later?   Do we truly believe that God Himself calls us by name?

              Sometimes it's hard to discern what we are called to in the midst of our busy lives ... in the hustle and bustle of dishes, laundry, car pools, yard work, deployments, dr's visits etc ... but what if....

what if ...

these ARE our calling? To live where God has us RIGHT now by His Grace and trust that if He has called us to something different (often we think bigger, but what is bigger than losing our lives for others and the impact on eternity and future generations we can not yet see?) ?    To begin to see each seemingly insignificant task as the grace of God for us, right here, right now. ...

 

Enough ..... (day 6)

Do you ever feel like who you are or what you do is just not ever enough ?

Enough time ..... enough love .... enough effort ..... you fill in the blank _______________________

I often feel as though I'm not enough  ..... somehow that I just don't measure up. To my idea of a good mom, wife, friend or child of God. Some of that is certainly related to childhood .... always the last one picked for games,etc .....one of the smart girls, band geek, .... homeschool Mom, Army Wife .... never the one to go with the flow or the status quo...... always questioning and I might add questioning myself! .....

I always feel behind ... like I'm running to catch a train that I just . can't. quite. reach ...... expectations left undone .... that pile of books I've yet to read, not enough time in prayer for hubby, home school work not done ..... wanting to be a "good" Mom to my kiddos both at home and adults, to be a good mother- in-law and grandma ,a good teacher who rightly divides the word for others, ....  feeling like a failure when I don't respond to my family members well ..... that somehow I should be doing it better- more efficiently--more cheerfully - with a holier attitude ......how can I encourage other women when I feel so discouraged about certain things in my life ......  and, and, and ... my list could certainly go on!

Yet Jesus says ... stop daughter! You are enough in Me! Without me you can do nothing anyhow so why do you keep striving? You don't need to prove your worth to me .... I died on the cross for you because I love you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, the way I created you. You are ENOUGH in me. It is enough to sit and lift your face to the sun, to spread a picnic blanket and read a good book, perfection is not the goal, but you are perfection to me!   ....

yet still I strive, to make sure somehow that it's done, to quiet the voices from childhood or perceptions of my own making or from the father of lies who whispers ...... you didn't get that done, you will never be enough, you are a failure ......

when if I would only accept the Grace and graces given to me and truly get it deep down I would see that it is enough -- even with laundry to do, meals to make, briefings to attend, dog hair all over the stairs, dishes in the sink --- to love my children, and my husband, to love God and follow hard after Him .....

that it is Grace, the wonderful, terrible beautiful grace of the Cross which makes my humble offerings of time and tasks, the prayers I feel are feeble and ineffectual, and all of me  ....... ....Enough

"And God is able to make every grace overflow to you, so that in every way, always having everything you need, you may excel in every good work." ... 2 Cor 9:8

Grace in motion ..... (day 4)

What comes to mind with those words?  A ballerina performing a Grand Jete or balancing beautifully en pointe?


or a gymnast on the balance beam?

How about a horse in full gallop?

The flutter of leaves this time of year, girls skipping or a couple who dances well?

All of these are indeed examples of grace in motion but it is not the Grace of which I speak .... rather that of life, all beauty points back to the one who created beauty  ....  The Common Grace of God which holds all together ...

..... to sing ..... to move .... to love ...... to reach out and help others ... hold someone's hand .... delight in fireflies .... the quiet grace of breath and heartbeat

How have you seen Grace move in your life today?

To ponder (Grace, day 3) .....

"We hold thatman is never so near grace as when he begins to feel he can do nothing at all."

......C.H. Spurgeon

.........HighDoctrine, June 3, 1860.

Movie Theater Grace (Day 2)

I sat in the movie theater tonight and watched Courageous with my children.... at one point I thought how blessed I am to have all 4 of them here, sorta within arms reach! .... with my daughter laughing about our take a handful and pass it down/take a sip and pass it down sharing of popcorn and rootbeer (shoot me if you wish but I am not buying one for each of us at those prices!) .... watching my oldest son piggyback my oldest daughter across the parking lot .... shopping in Walmart together .... 
breathing in the quiet knowing that they are all with me and they all want to be together .... the small things are indeed beautiful ....

Day 1: Grace

In trying to think of what I'd like to write on for this 31 day challenge I kept coming up with things others were already doing, yes I know we can copy but still.... I couldn't settle on one thing. So as I said before, I decided to do Grace in all it's forms ..... since everything I thought of is only held together by God's Grace I think it works... right?
     So what is Grace? What do you think of when someone says that? (please tell me in the comments)  ....Here's a few definitions: 

• Webster's 1828 Dictionary 

• Dictionary.Com (Interesting isn't it? The difference between the two... but that's another post! :))

The Greek Lexicon says this: Grace(Charis)

1. grace
   1. that which affords joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, charm, loveliness: grace of speech
2. good will, loving-kindness, favour
   1. of the merciful kindness by which God, exerting his holy influence upon souls, turns them to Christ, keeps, strengthens, increases them in Christian faith, knowledge, affection, and kindles them to the exercise of the Christian virtues
3. what is due to grace
   1. the spiritual condition of one governed by the power of divine grace
   2. the token or proof of grace, benefit
      1. a gift of grace
      2. benefit, bounty
4. thanks, (for benefits, services, favours), recompense, reward

So grace then could be said to be that which takes our breath and causes this heart swell of beauty, the longing for true beauty only found in the one who created it. But also the gift we so do not deserve ....

I chose the gorgeous tree above (from here) because it's October and all our trees are starting to change here, and I thought it was perfect for talking about how God's grace changes us into something beautiful even in our ordinariness and also how His grace like the leaves showers and falls down upon us leaving us "littered" in gorgeousness ......  that we become more beautiful as we are willing to die to ourselves and live for Him.

I am certainly not the poet nor the photographer that Ann Voskamp is but her book got me thinking along these lines and I hope to flesh it out more in the days to come .... to really think about what does it mean to live in Grace or gracefully, perhaps Grace-Full? What does it look like and to notice the gifts of Grace in my daily life. I apologize if this post is disjointed or rambly, I am tired from long nights yet thankful even for that Grace that my son and my daughter's beau were able to go see the movie Courageous and both said it was life changing! Thankful that A could be here to take R whilst hubby is away ..... I hope you will join me for this month! :)

(ps I will also be trying to revamp my blog along the way !)