Going behind someone's back

So what are your thoughts on this?

I personally can't stand it! It hurts and it's unnecessary. Have experienced this in many areas, most recently on a public forum. If I have a problem with someone I try to talk to them about it first before going to others -- if I post something you disagree with then talk to me! I love a good debate --- but these days to many people can't seem to debate without taking things personally or getting their panties in a wad! I actually was called insensitive (hello -- people assume a lot on email/internet as there is no inflection) and a possible racist (in reference to my opinions on illegal immigration --- so now because I beleive people should come here legally that makes me a racist?!) me, who has friends of all different backgrounds? A military wife who has truly enjoyed traveling and meeting others, learning new languages, experiencing different cultures, yet the truth of the matter is that I am not pc enough for most people. And because I am not afraid to stand up for what I beleive in or say what I think now I'm looking at possible banishment from a forum I enjoyed.....

The loss of absoloute truth in society doesn't help either of course. Nevertheless I feel attacked when others choose to gossip (lets call a spade a spade here) and go on assumptions rather then clarifying a post or talking directly to me first, it's childish and uncalled for.

Hurt deeply and misunderstood.