It's begining to look a lot like .... weird weather!

Christmas instead of Spring? All my poor daffodils are frozen,etc. But today is sunny and almost 50! Tim wants us to keep it around until he's home on R&R but I told him uh,,nope! Personally I could go for sun! Spring break in TX with sun and 70-85 was

wonderful! Our backyard and Jessica clearing the front walk.


So Ross is now 15! Happy Birthday to my funny, annoying, intelligent,goofy manboy! While his original plans for friends to come over,etc didn't work out - partly due to the weather I think he still had a good day. Mostly spent watching movies - The Guardian, Gladiator,etc; playing bionicle with Noah (peacefully!) and computer stuff; off to a friend's today.

Biscuits and chocolate gravy for breakfast - even managed to put 15 candles in it! Little wax with your biscuits?
His favorite present was the replica Claymore "Braveheart" sword from Vision Forum -- now we just have to get it hung up on the wall (comes up to Noah's nose!) of course he would like a "real" one but hey...

add Angry to the list...

and guilty.

Angry at my husband for not writing, for refusing to put pen to paper or even postcard. The amount of letters I've gotten over the years is less than 30. Makes me feel unimportant, not worth the effort. I've expressed that to him, still...nothing. Few emails... for some reason he's always the one who's email doesn't work, is busy,etc.

Guilty for yelling at him when he's stood in line to call on the phone.

Angry at God for not answering, I've prayed for years that Tim would write, would seek the Lord when he's away, etc,etc,etc...

Angry that my children have missed their father for so long and worried that it will warp them for life, that Dad was gone (really gone) and Mom wasn't able to be wholly present at times.

Angry at my friend who says I need to repent for being an inconsistent parent, like I don't feel like enough of a failure already? Gee, I had no idea I needed to be more consistent! I know she means well.

Guilty for that too -- being inconsistent, tired, and struggling at times.


hmmm... so I'm pmsing and that makes everything larger but the reality is I'm tired.

Tired of keep on keeping on.
of never seeing any payoff for what I do
having to repeat myself 5000 times on any given subject (is ANYONE listening to me?)
feeling abandoned in numerous ways
being alone or lonely
praying and seeing no results (and please don't tell me it's all my fault and there's to much sin in my life I need to repent of, not necessarily true) or the exact opposite of what I ask/hope for!
everything being a battle -- it ISN'T for everyone so why is it always around here?
being misunderstood
fighting with my son



from the book I just finished on William Wilberforce:

"We are apt, perpetually to express our wonder that so much exertion should be necessary to suppress such a flagrant injustice. The more just reflections will be, that a short period of the short life of one man is, well and wisely directed, sufficent to remedy the miseries of millions for ages".....

A Call to Prayer...

This is my PWOC President's devotion for March and is something the Lord really laid on my heart when I spoke with Tim a few days ago and has confirmed through our Pastor's teaching in James, enjoy and please,let me know what you think! (if you want to you can also go to click on pastor and then the links for James).

Five times a day a Muslim is bound to perform the Salaah, the fixed ritual of the Islamic prayer - worship. He should properly go to the nearest mosque to offer his prayers together with the whole congregation. Each of the five periods is preceded by the adhaan (or azaan - ezan as it is more commonly called). The muezzin (mu'adh-dhin in Arabic) calls out on each occasion:
Allaabu Akbar (4 times – “Allah is Most Great”)
· Ash’hadu an laa ilaaha illallaah (twice – “I bear witness that there is no god but Allah)
· Ash’hadu anna Muhammadar-rasulullaah (twice –“I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah”)
· Hava ‘alas-salaah (twice – “Come to prayer”)
· Ilava ‘alal falaah (twice – “Come to the good”)
· Allaaku Akbar (twice – “Allah is the Most Great”)
· Laa ilaaha illallaah (“There is no god but Allah”)
Interesting isn’t it? Can you substitute Jesus and God for the above and what would it mean for you to declare these things aloud 5 times a day?
The last time I talked with hubby he was outside and you could clearly hear the call to prayer in the background (as he put it they are “serenaded” 5times a day). A beautiful, haunting yet insistent sound. I think there’s a lesson there for us. Prayer is not taken lightly for Muslim men but is an integral part of each day, involving not only the actual stopping of activity but gathering together, ablutions beforehand, preparation, etc. It’s a serious thing. How much more so then, should we – who know the true and living God – take seriously our own call to prayer?
I am not saying you must stop everything, wash and fast, and run to chapel 5 times a day! We serve a God who can hear the simplest prayer on the run and the one where you are on your face for an hour or more. A God who knows we are but dust and hears no matter what. And yet…. have we lost the awesomeness of knowing that GOD Himself is waiting to hear from us? In our ability to approach Him as a familiar Father without restrictions have we shed the fact that He is Holy to quickly? And what does that say to those around us, to our children?
I challenge you to sit and think about what God is calling you to do in regards to prayer in your life… to hear what the Spirit, our own Holy muezzin, has to say. Do you struggle with prayer? Believing God hears? How to pray? What to pray? All the above?! Then ask him to clarify…. I want to challenge you also, if your husband is deployed to remind him of these things. To see the Muslim call to prayer not as an irritation but as an opportunity for prayer on his part as well!
We will continue on prayer next month but for now just meditate, ruminate and seek the Lord on the above…

(Info website with a recording if you have not heard the call to prayer and would like to… please know in NO WAY is PWOC, or myself, offering this as an alternative to Faith in Christ rather for information and thought provoking discussion:

Doings around our house today...

Ok so it's early, I'll probably add to this later as well but so far we have:

Homemade yogurt (thanks De'Etta for the recipe) that's a little runny but still good -- needs more flavor but I used Vanilla Brown Cow for starter and didn't want to much. Made yummy smoothies for breakfast though! (came out more like soft peach ice cream in the vitamix but here's what I did: frozen peaches, yogurt, cream of coconut, egg white protein and Barleans flax oil -- expensive but yummy!)

I have physical therapy for my back, work, school, need to work around the house and buy science stuff for Jessica (who's determined she's going to the University of Hawaii, Stanford or Oxford now and having a great Dane named Skimpy?) Jessica is also working on cleaning out our jungly flower bed in back and making it pretty (yeah! The garden may have to wait until April when Tim's home on R&R but in our zone you really can't plant until May anyhow).


Noah is 9 today! He's such a blessing and joy! Growing into a kind,thoughtful young man.

Yesterday was his "party" and we had a good time at the Cosmosphere in Hutchinson, Jessica made him alien cupcakes, he had a friend spend the night and another came over to watch Space Chimps, eat astronaut ice cream(freeze dried) with the cupcakes and play games.

Today I decided to stay home from church and just let the boys play so presently Lars,Ross and Noah are headed to the park to try out Noah's new sling shot, Ross' sling (yes there's a difference) and run around,etc. I do wish we lived in the country sometimes so they could do more "real" boy stuff like trapping,build forts,etc and not have to worry about where to shoot the sling shot! Hoping to build a real tipi or wedge type tent this summer in the back yard or something like that....

(Lars and Noah with the Apollo 13 command module Odyssey)