add Angry to the list...

and guilty.

Angry at my husband for not writing, for refusing to put pen to paper or even postcard. The amount of letters I've gotten over the years is less than 30. Makes me feel unimportant, not worth the effort. I've expressed that to him, still...nothing. Few emails... for some reason he's always the one who's email doesn't work, is busy,etc.

Guilty for yelling at him when he's stood in line to call on the phone.

Angry at God for not answering, I've prayed for years that Tim would write, would seek the Lord when he's away, etc,etc,etc...

Angry that my children have missed their father for so long and worried that it will warp them for life, that Dad was gone (really gone) and Mom wasn't able to be wholly present at times.

Angry at my friend who says I need to repent for being an inconsistent parent, like I don't feel like enough of a failure already? Gee, I had no idea I needed to be more consistent! I know she means well.

Guilty for that too -- being inconsistent, tired, and struggling at times.